![]() ![]() Social media connections and interactions will never satisfy the ache in the human heart for deep, intimate relationships. ![]() When the most important relationships get second class attention, the result is emotional and relational pain, or what Thoreau called quiet desperation. Likes, views and ‘online friends’ can never satisfy the ache in the human heart for deep, lasting, intimate relationships. Social media offers a shallow counterfeit to the kind of deep, meaningful connection our hearts desire. The primary environment for making a sincere gift of self is within your inner circle of relationships – spouse, children, family of origin, close friends and closest work associates. Man cannot find fulfimment in life, except through a sincere gift of self to others. In order to enjoy fulness of life, we have to know what will actually bring us the most fulfilment, satisfaction and meaning. Here it is: Man cannot find fulfimment in life, except through a sincere gift of self to others (Gaudium et Spes no. In order to find fulness of life, we have to know what will actually bring us the most fulfilment, satisfaction and meaning. We are created to empty ourselves in service to others, not to be served by them. Notice the nuance in Anne Hathaway’s statement above: “The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for.” Her biggest concern was to have no one to care for, not that nobody would care for her. Human beings are created for relationship we are not as mere consumers. ![]() All these previously listed goods are fine to appreciate and pursue, but we must understand that these goods will never fully satisfy our hearts. Elevated social status will not ease the pain either, nor will a “better” job or increased productivity. The solution to quiet desperation is not found in amusement, pleasure or a bigger bank account. Quiet desperation is a lack of meaningful intimacy in our most important relationships. Quiet desperation is not a lack of connection as we have plenty of that online. In the absence of meaningful connection, we will not be fully alive as human beings. In the absence of meaningful connection, we will not experience the abundant life God promised us. I felt that I didn’t have a friend in the world.” In 2010, Anne Hathaway said something similar, “The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for.” Human beings are social creatures. Madonna once said, “There were whole chunks of my life where I was utterly lonely. It is a lack of authentic connection, especially with those we love. It is not a lack of connection or lack of acquaintance. What is the problem beneath the pain? The pain point that leads to quiet desperation is a lack of meaningful intimacy in our most important relationships. Quiet despair is often concealed under affluence, fame, and power. And this is the most bitter kind of loneliness. Freddie Mercury said that you can have everything in life and still be the loneliest man. The pain is real and no amount of worldly pleasure, prestige or power will soothe the ache of a life lived in quiet desperation. There are many tragic stories of sports stars and Hollywood celebrities burying their pain in drugs and alcohol or taking their own life as final relief. And this is the most bitter kind of loneliness.” Quiet despair is often concealed under affluence, fame, and power. At the height of his career, world-famous musician Freddie Mercury said, “You can have everything in life and still be the loneliest man. Most men, even very successful celebrities, live lives of quiet desperation. Let us unpack more of the pain, the problem and then offer a solution. The second part defines the problem – the despair is hidden under games and amusements. Henry David Thoreau is attributed with writing, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Thoreau said more than this statement but what is often omitted is more important, “Unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called games and amusements.” The first part of Thoreau’s statement defines the pain – most men lead lives of quiet desperation. ![]()
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